Subpage under development, new version coming soon!
Subject: Jokes
I hope so :P
In english it doesn't even have sense :P
In english it doesn't even have sense :P
A man was walking through the dessert when he suddenly noticed an oil lamp. He picked it up and begin to rub the lamp. Then a genie jumped out from it. He greeted the man and said that he could fulfil all his wishes but everything what he would ask about his hated ex-wife would get two times. He agreed and asked about one million dollars. The genie answered:
- The money is yours but your wife has got two milion dollars. What's your next wish?
The man thought for a while and asked about Rolls-Royce car. The genie replied:
- You've got this car, but in your ex-wife's garrage there are two such cars. What's your third and the last wish?
The man overjoyed with the gifts that he got and simultaneously disappointed with his wife's bigger success thought for a long while and said with satisfaction:
- I'd like you to remove one of my kidneys.
- The money is yours but your wife has got two milion dollars. What's your next wish?
The man thought for a while and asked about Rolls-Royce car. The genie replied:
- You've got this car, but in your ex-wife's garrage there are two such cars. What's your third and the last wish?
The man overjoyed with the gifts that he got and simultaneously disappointed with his wife's bigger success thought for a long while and said with satisfaction:
- I'd like you to remove one of my kidneys.
A man was walking through the dessert
Why was he walking through a dessert? Where was he, Hungary?
Why was he walking through a dessert? Where was he, Hungary?
A van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Manchester United fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their ubiquitous red colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest "where are you going, Father?",
"I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road" replied the priest.
"No problem Father! I'll give you a lift"! climb in!"
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Manchester United fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the bloody priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the scum bastard. However even though he was certain he missed the glory-hunting shite, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said
"I'm sorry Father, I almost hit that Manchester United fan,
"That's okay" replied the priest. "I got the fucker with the door!"
"I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road" replied the priest.
"No problem Father! I'll give you a lift"! climb in!"
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Manchester United fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the bloody priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the scum bastard. However even though he was certain he missed the glory-hunting shite, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said
"I'm sorry Father, I almost hit that Manchester United fan,
"That's okay" replied the priest. "I got the fucker with the door!"
Changes Manu to Liverpool and posts to mates :)
change MU to Chelsea and i will love this joke
(edited)
(edited)
Why was he walking through a dessert? Where was he, Hungary?
that amused me :)
also the ending to that joke is that he says to the genie - "i want you to beat me half to death"
that amused me :)
also the ending to that joke is that he says to the genie - "i want you to beat me half to death"
Another one is:
'I wish for a mild heart attack'
His wife gets a 2x milder heart attack.
'I wish for a mild heart attack'
His wife gets a 2x milder heart attack.
but its still only a heart attack so she can survive.. half to death x 2 = win :)