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Subject: Jokes
it is our forum, cause we are part of it :P
kid don't try to argue with me :D
kid don't try to argue with me :D
rofl, just picking out your mistakes :P
and what do you mean Welcome to our forum???
I have been here over a year now and you still dont recognise me lol
(edited)
and what do you mean Welcome to our forum???
I have been here over a year now and you still dont recognise me lol
(edited)
Really??? someone must of changed my name as i didnt
captain obvious, welcome on our forum
this was my message. so where have seen here that it was indented to welcome you? :D
this was my message. so where have seen here that it was indented to welcome you? :D
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Young Lady smiles coyly: To invite me to the Policemen´s Ball?
Cop: Madam, policemen do not have balls.
Young Lady smiles coyly: To invite me to the Policemen´s Ball?
Cop: Madam, policemen do not have balls.
John: "Daddy, daddy, can we go to the circus, they are in town!!?"
Dad: "No John, I don't have time now."
John: "But they have tigers mounted by naked women ..."
Dad: "Alright, alright, I haven't seen tigers for a long time."
Dad: "No John, I don't have time now."
John: "But they have tigers mounted by naked women ..."
Dad: "Alright, alright, I haven't seen tigers for a long time."
Two vampires walk into a bar at night.
The first vampire says " Barkeep, give me a glass of warm blood please."
The second vampire says " Barkeep, give me a glass of hot water please."
The first vampire turned to the second vampire "aren't you having a glass of blood, are you on the wagon ?"
NO, says the second vampire, as he pulls out a tampon ...... I'M HAVING TEA!
The first vampire says " Barkeep, give me a glass of warm blood please."
The second vampire says " Barkeep, give me a glass of hot water please."
The first vampire turned to the second vampire "aren't you having a glass of blood, are you on the wagon ?"
NO, says the second vampire, as he pulls out a tampon ...... I'M HAVING TEA!
WHY FISH SMELL
Adam was sitting in the Garden Of Eden all alone, daydreaming while watching all the other animal having sex with their mates.
When God appears "What are you doing Adam, you're enjoying the garden I see?"
Adam says "Just sitting here, I'm so bored. If I was any border I would be dead. I wish I had a mate like those animals over there."
"I will give you a mate Adam" God says, "HERE! Enjoy her to your hearts content, her name will be Eve."
God then goes and leaves them alone
When God comes back the next day he sees Adam is all alone. God aks Adam, "Are you happy, and by the way, where is Eve???"
Adam says "OH MY GOD!!! I am so happy, she does every thing I ask, she is unreal in every way. Thank you ! thank you ! thank you !"
God then says "I am so happy for you my son, so where is you lovely Eve ?"
"We have being having sex all night and she went to the river to wash out her #@!#" Adam aswers.
God yells "YOUR A BLOODY IDIOT ADAM, HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET THE SMELL OUT OF THE FISH NOW!!!!!!!!!"
Adam was sitting in the Garden Of Eden all alone, daydreaming while watching all the other animal having sex with their mates.
When God appears "What are you doing Adam, you're enjoying the garden I see?"
Adam says "Just sitting here, I'm so bored. If I was any border I would be dead. I wish I had a mate like those animals over there."
"I will give you a mate Adam" God says, "HERE! Enjoy her to your hearts content, her name will be Eve."
God then goes and leaves them alone
When God comes back the next day he sees Adam is all alone. God aks Adam, "Are you happy, and by the way, where is Eve???"
Adam says "OH MY GOD!!! I am so happy, she does every thing I ask, she is unreal in every way. Thank you ! thank you ! thank you !"
God then says "I am so happy for you my son, so where is you lovely Eve ?"
"We have being having sex all night and she went to the river to wash out her #@!#" Adam aswers.
God yells "YOUR A BLOODY IDIOT ADAM, HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET THE SMELL OUT OF THE FISH NOW!!!!!!!!!"
Why did Bill and Hillary Clinton had sex at 5 am?
she wanted to be his 'first lady'
she wanted to be his 'first lady'
Mick walks into Paddys barn and catches doing a striptease to one of his farm machines. Mick Says "What de feck are ya doing Paddy?" Paddy replies "well me and Mary havent been getting on lately so we went to a sex therapist and he said I should do something sexy to a Tractor"
Adam was sitting in the Garden Of Eden all alone, daydreaming while watching all the other animal having sex with their mates.
When God appears "What are you doing Adam, you're enjoying the garden I see?"
Adam says "Just sitting here, I'm so bored. If I was any border I would be dead. I wish I had a mate like those animals over there."
God says. Ok adam i will make you a mate. she will be kind, loving, gentle, listen to all your problems, do your work for you, make you all your meals, cleanup and fulfill your every desire, but its going to cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thinks about it and finally decides.... "what can i get for a rib?"
When God appears "What are you doing Adam, you're enjoying the garden I see?"
Adam says "Just sitting here, I'm so bored. If I was any border I would be dead. I wish I had a mate like those animals over there."
God says. Ok adam i will make you a mate. she will be kind, loving, gentle, listen to all your problems, do your work for you, make you all your meals, cleanup and fulfill your every desire, but its going to cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thinks about it and finally decides.... "what can i get for a rib?"