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Subject: Jokes
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asked her husband to stop the car. There was a
baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?" He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it." "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there. "But what about the smell?" He said, "Just hold its nose."
The man is expected to recover.
baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?" He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it." "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there. "But what about the smell?" He said, "Just hold its nose."
The man is expected to recover.
Cowboy Chili
This young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas.
He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded
staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks, "if you ain't goin' to eat that, mind if I do"?
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead".
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking
and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too".
This young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas.
He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded
staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks, "if you ain't goin' to eat that, mind if I do"?
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead".
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking
and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too".
All of his life George, a blond male from Newfoundland had heard stories of a family tradition. It seems that his father and grandfather had been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they'd walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink:
So when George's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Corky took a boat out to the middle of the lake. George stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Corky just managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, George went to see his grandmother. "Grandma, it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father and his father before him?"
Granny looked into George's big blue eyes and said, "Because, you dumb ass, your father, grandfather and great grandfather were born in January, you were born in July.
So when George's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Corky took a boat out to the middle of the lake. George stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Corky just managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, George went to see his grandmother. "Grandma, it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father and his father before him?"
Granny looked into George's big blue eyes and said, "Because, you dumb ass, your father, grandfather and great grandfather were born in January, you were born in July.
my favorite of the month...
Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His wife replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
...
The man says: "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."
Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His wife replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
...
The man says: "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely!
Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and
solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the
best part of my body is my ears?'
Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.
put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely!
Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and
solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the
best part of my body is my ears?'
Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me.
