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Subject: Jokes
3 Guys are in a cafe.
The first guy says: "I have the smallest arm in the world."
The second guy says: "I have the smallest head in the world."
The third guy says: "I have the smallest dick in the world."
They all go to the Guinness Book of World records office..
...The first guy comes back and says: "I really have the smallest arm in the world."
The seconds guy returns and says: "I really have the smallest head in the world."
The third guy comes back and angrily says: "WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER?!"
The first guy says: "I have the smallest arm in the world."
The second guy says: "I have the smallest head in the world."
The third guy says: "I have the smallest dick in the world."
They all go to the Guinness Book of World records office..
...The first guy comes back and says: "I really have the smallest arm in the world."
The seconds guy returns and says: "I really have the smallest head in the world."
The third guy comes back and angrily says: "WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER?!"
lol :)
Although, i don't like the fact that everyone is using that Bieber guy in jokes etc. I really don't know who the hell he is, and i don't want to know.
Although, i don't like the fact that everyone is using that Bieber guy in jokes etc. I really don't know who the hell he is, and i don't want to know.
Took a short cut through a cemetary today and saw a bloke behind a gravestone. I said "morning", he said "nope, having a sh*t"
I rang a Chinese take-away earlier, and the man on the other end of the phone said,
"Hello, I am Wang King the Chef." so I replied,
"No bother, I'll ring back later."
"Hello, I am Wang King the Chef." so I replied,
"No bother, I'll ring back later."
This one is a bit of a 'Golden oldie':
I took the girlfriend to get Call of Duty last night.
Apparently I didn't understand the terms and conditions of a trade-in.
I took the girlfriend to get Call of Duty last night.
Apparently I didn't understand the terms and conditions of a trade-in.
I don't know why David Cameron is so set on raising student fees; the last thing he tried to raise died at age six.
What happened to the dyslexic gay marriage?
It was analled.
It was analled.
It's sounds like this joke is about me :
When I was at school, the other pupils voted me: "Pupil most likely to end up in a mental institution."
They got that wrong!
Turns out I'm actually: "Only pupil who didn't die in a mysterious unexplained accident."
When I was at school, the other pupils voted me: "Pupil most likely to end up in a mental institution."
They got that wrong!
Turns out I'm actually: "Only pupil who didn't die in a mysterious unexplained accident."
The diary of Hermione Granger age 14
Wednesday : 10:30pm
Can't sleep & very bored.
All I have to keep myself occupied is this magic wand thing with its stupid bloody vibrating tip and.............. hold it a second !!
Thursday
Busy
Friday
Busy
Saturday
Busy
Wednesday : 10:30pm
Can't sleep & very bored.
All I have to keep myself occupied is this magic wand thing with its stupid bloody vibrating tip and.............. hold it a second !!
Thursday
Busy
Friday
Busy
Saturday
Busy
I got fired from my job as a train station announcer yesterday.
All I said was, "If anyone has lost a small child, he has been found on platforms 3, 4 and 5."
All I said was, "If anyone has lost a small child, he has been found on platforms 3, 4 and 5."