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Subject: Jokes
without sun everything 'is' black
the joke implies that even sun doesn't like black people and doesn't want to 'be on them', and that's why they are black
the joke implies that even sun doesn't like black people and doesn't want to 'be on them', and that's why they are black
Teacher: Why are you late?
Girl 1: I was blowing bubbles
Teacher: ...
*girl 2 comes late*
teacher: why are you late?
Girl 2: I was blowing bubbles to
*new guy comes*
Teacher: let me guess you where blowing bubbles to?
New guy: No, I am Bubbles
Girl 1: I was blowing bubbles
Teacher: ...
*girl 2 comes late*
teacher: why are you late?
Girl 2: I was blowing bubbles to
*new guy comes*
Teacher: let me guess you where blowing bubbles to?
New guy: No, I am Bubbles
In a kid´s bedroom there is a loud sound: ah ah ah
the father comes quickly very worried:
-" sun, are you listening to Justing Bieber?"
-"no, its just porn"
-"thanks God"
the father comes quickly very worried:
-" sun, are you listening to Justing Bieber?"
-"no, its just porn"
-"thanks God"
bad joke
my version is bettter ;) watch above p. 127 :)
(edited)
my version is bettter ;) watch above p. 127 :)
(edited)
Application for job
It is 2020 and people made an automated machine who immediatly finds a job for the people...
First comes Montenegro guy
Machine:Welcome to applications for job
Machine:Country of origin and year of birth?
Montenegro guy:Montenegro,dude.1973
Machine:Knowledge of English
Montenegro guy:Yas,yas i mach speek Inglish
Machine:Goodbye
Then comes Serbian guy:
He:Go Montenegro kid,go play
Machine:Country of origin and year of birth:
Serbian guy:Serbia dude.1976
Machine:Knowledge of English?
Serbian guy:Yes i know English pretty good
Machine:Driving experience?
Serbian guy:Well,my father gave my his car to drive.I don't have a license yet...
Machine:Goodbye.
Then comes Bosnian guy:
He:go,go,go leave the space for adults you kids...
Machine:Country of origin and year of birth?
Bosnian guy:Bosnia and Herz...
Machine:Goodbye
It is 2020 and people made an automated machine who immediatly finds a job for the people...
First comes Montenegro guy
Machine:Welcome to applications for job
Machine:Country of origin and year of birth?
Montenegro guy:Montenegro,dude.1973
Machine:Knowledge of English
Montenegro guy:Yas,yas i mach speek Inglish
Machine:Goodbye
Then comes Serbian guy:
He:Go Montenegro kid,go play
Machine:Country of origin and year of birth:
Serbian guy:Serbia dude.1976
Machine:Knowledge of English?
Serbian guy:Yes i know English pretty good
Machine:Driving experience?
Serbian guy:Well,my father gave my his car to drive.I don't have a license yet...
Machine:Goodbye.
Then comes Bosnian guy:
He:go,go,go leave the space for adults you kids...
Machine:Country of origin and year of birth?
Bosnian guy:Bosnia and Herz...
Machine:Goodbye
those youtube jokes are real fun
When Justin Bieber said he was having a baby,
Bruno Mars threw a grenade at him and said: You're gay!!
Which made Lady gaga call Alejandro for help.
Rihanna was scared the world would end , so she took drugs and forgot her name.
Eminem said. Im not afraid of dying.
Britney told Rihanna drugs were toxic, and Rihanna told her: Go work as a circus clown, u freak!
Finally, Nelly woke up saying. Phew! it was Just a dream....
When Justin Bieber said he was having a baby,
Bruno Mars threw a grenade at him and said: You're gay!!
Which made Lady gaga call Alejandro for help.
Rihanna was scared the world would end , so she took drugs and forgot her name.
Eminem said. Im not afraid of dying.
Britney told Rihanna drugs were toxic, and Rihanna told her: Go work as a circus clown, u freak!
Finally, Nelly woke up saying. Phew! it was Just a dream....
Someone needs to help Rihanna, she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, she forgot her name, and thinks she's the only girl in the world!
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken
Surprise'.
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around
before the lid slams back down.
'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she
asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises,
and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather disturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,
and demands an explanation.
'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'
The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'
'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck'.
Surprise'.
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around
before the lid slams back down.
'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she
asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises,
and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather disturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,
and demands an explanation.
'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'
The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'
'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck'.
note: dont care about sizes as they are italian measures.
George had no problems and was happy. One day he began to suffer from severe headache, slightly principle, but that increased gradually until it becomes unbearable. When his work and his life began to be affected by this issue, George decided to go to the doctor.
The specialist examined him, made him the X-rays, blood tests, urine, feces, and finally said:
- I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I can cure your headache. The bad news is that I'll have to get it castrated. You suffer from a very rare condition: your testicles press on the basis of the column spinal and this gives you a serious headache. The only way to remedy all this is to remove your testicles.
George fell into depression, but his condition worsened and, desperate, he decided to have the operation. Upon leaving the hospital, the headache was completely gone already, but George felt dejected and sad, as if he lacked some important of itself (of course).
- What I need is a nice new suit. - He thought.
So he went into a shop and asked him to buy a dress.
The clerk looked at him and said:
- Very well, size 44.
- Exactly! - Exclaimed George - How do you know?
- It's my job - the seller said.
George felt the dress, which fitted him exactly. While watching the mirror, the seller offered:
- How about a new shirt?
- Well, why not? - Giorgio said.
- Let's see, should be a 34 for the sleeve and 16 for the neck ... - Said the clerk.
- How do you know? - Asked George.
- It's my job - the seller said.
George felt his shirt and was reflected as the seller said,
- A new pair of shoes?
- Of course! - Giorgio said.
The vendor looked at the feet of George and said:
- A 42.
- Exactly, how do you know?
- It's my job ... - Said the seller.
While George gazed at his new shoes, the seller asked him:
- Would you be interested in a new pair of underwear?
George thought for a moment that had just undergone the operation and said:
- Good idea!
- Must be a pant size of 36. - Said the clerk.
George laughed and said:
- No, you're wrong this time. I used size 34 since I was 18 years.
The vendor shook his head and declared:
- I may be wrong, but you can not you use the 34 ... Underwear would be too narrow to crush the testicles against the base spine and would have all day a terrible headache.
George had no problems and was happy. One day he began to suffer from severe headache, slightly principle, but that increased gradually until it becomes unbearable. When his work and his life began to be affected by this issue, George decided to go to the doctor.
The specialist examined him, made him the X-rays, blood tests, urine, feces, and finally said:
- I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I can cure your headache. The bad news is that I'll have to get it castrated. You suffer from a very rare condition: your testicles press on the basis of the column spinal and this gives you a serious headache. The only way to remedy all this is to remove your testicles.
George fell into depression, but his condition worsened and, desperate, he decided to have the operation. Upon leaving the hospital, the headache was completely gone already, but George felt dejected and sad, as if he lacked some important of itself (of course).
- What I need is a nice new suit. - He thought.
So he went into a shop and asked him to buy a dress.
The clerk looked at him and said:
- Very well, size 44.
- Exactly! - Exclaimed George - How do you know?
- It's my job - the seller said.
George felt the dress, which fitted him exactly. While watching the mirror, the seller offered:
- How about a new shirt?
- Well, why not? - Giorgio said.
- Let's see, should be a 34 for the sleeve and 16 for the neck ... - Said the clerk.
- How do you know? - Asked George.
- It's my job - the seller said.
George felt his shirt and was reflected as the seller said,
- A new pair of shoes?
- Of course! - Giorgio said.
The vendor looked at the feet of George and said:
- A 42.
- Exactly, how do you know?
- It's my job ... - Said the seller.
While George gazed at his new shoes, the seller asked him:
- Would you be interested in a new pair of underwear?
George thought for a moment that had just undergone the operation and said:
- Good idea!
- Must be a pant size of 36. - Said the clerk.
George laughed and said:
- No, you're wrong this time. I used size 34 since I was 18 years.
The vendor shook his head and declared:
- I may be wrong, but you can not you use the 34 ... Underwear would be too narrow to crush the testicles against the base spine and would have all day a terrible headache.
lol, didnt think I would laugh at that but I like it :)