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Subject: Jokes
Common sense and good taste don't have a time stamp. That is why all perversions remain contemporary and only truly good things can become classic.
I repeat my question which you will surely ignore again: how would you film this joke and keep the
"funny" part?
I repeat my question which you will surely ignore again: how would you film this joke and keep the
"funny" part?
De gustibus non est disputandum.
Roman Empire collapsed. It seems some of their tastes should have been illegal after all.
That is why this saying evolved to: "Tastes are not to be disputed. They are to be spat on."
That is why this saying evolved to: "Tastes are not to be disputed. They are to be spat on."
@ruby lol.@sacha there are some jokes that cant be made as a movie, and the opposite
The fun of the joke for me actually is that everything sounds sweet and nice, but that is disturbed by the taser gun thought.
Opportunity
A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg.
She immediately says, "Father, remember Psalm 129".
The priest says sorry and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again.
The Nun once again says, "Father remember Psalm 129".
Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up Psalm 129 and it said, "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY"
Moral of the Story: In your job should always be well informed or you may miss a great opportunity.
A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg.
She immediately says, "Father, remember Psalm 129".
The priest says sorry and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again.
The Nun once again says, "Father remember Psalm 129".
Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up Psalm 129 and it said, "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY"
Moral of the Story: In your job should always be well informed or you may miss a great opportunity.
Scene 1: Cenneth is walking through the park, the sun is shining, birds are singing. You get the picture.
Scene 2: Long shot of beautiful young lady, followed by close up shot of Cenneth's smitten face.
Scene 3: Close up of beautiful young lady's face, with a wide eyed expression.
Scene 4: Arty shot of Cenneth making passionate love.
Scene 5: I call this scene 'Teh Reveal' (Teh is funnier than The). Close up of taser lying on the grass.
Scene 6: Cenneth pats his back pocket and says 'That's Asda Price'
FIN
I call my short film, "Cenneth's Funny Joke"
Scene 2: Long shot of beautiful young lady, followed by close up shot of Cenneth's smitten face.
Scene 3: Close up of beautiful young lady's face, with a wide eyed expression.
Scene 4: Arty shot of Cenneth making passionate love.
Scene 5: I call this scene 'Teh Reveal' (Teh is funnier than The). Close up of taser lying on the grass.
Scene 6: Cenneth pats his back pocket and says 'That's Asda Price'
FIN
I call my short film, "Cenneth's Funny Joke"
LOL. OK, I better go and delete everything I wrote on the last 2 pages ;).
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."
The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".
The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"
After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"
The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".
The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"
After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"
The Queen of England and the Pope are guests of honor at the Annual England vs Ireland Soccer Match.
Both are getting right into the feel of things and the Queen leans over to the Pope and says, "I bet I can make all the English People in the crowd cheer wildly with a simple hand gesture."
The Pope looks at her disbelievingly, so the Queen does her famous wave and all the English people in the crowd cheer wildly as one.
The Pope leans over and says to the Queen, "That was nothing. I bet I can make all of the Irish People in the crowd party wildly for a week with just the nod of my head."
The Queens says, "Well that is totally unbelievable - let's see."
A split second later the Pope Head butts her ..
Both are getting right into the feel of things and the Queen leans over to the Pope and says, "I bet I can make all the English People in the crowd cheer wildly with a simple hand gesture."
The Pope looks at her disbelievingly, so the Queen does her famous wave and all the English people in the crowd cheer wildly as one.
The Pope leans over and says to the Queen, "That was nothing. I bet I can make all of the Irish People in the crowd party wildly for a week with just the nod of my head."
The Queens says, "Well that is totally unbelievable - let's see."
A split second later the Pope Head butts her ..
Oh, please make that into a short film and post it here. Sounds amazing!
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
A man is complaining to his friend: "I haven't spoken to my wife for 6 months!"
"But that's terrible", his friend answers, "what is going on?"
"I don't like to interrupt her ... ", he says.
"But that's terrible", his friend answers, "what is going on?"
"I don't like to interrupt her ... ", he says.
