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Subject: Jokes
A bus full of ugly people met an accident, all of them died. Before entering heaven, they have given one wish, the first said: "make me beautiful" and it happened. The rest followed the same wish, when it came to the last person he was laughing. The voice asked him: why are you laughing? what is your wish? The last person answered: make them all ugly again!
:))
reminds me of another joke, I'll write in from memories :P
the bear and the rabbit got the golden fish and they received 3 wishes each.
The bear: i want all the bears in this forest to be females.
fish: done.
the rabbit: give me a helmet.
fish: done.
The bear: I want all the bears in the near forests to be females.
done...
rabbit: give me a motorcycle. done...
bear: I want all the bears in the world to be females. done...
and the rabbit, while preparing to go away with the motorcycle, says: make the bear gay :)))
(edited)
reminds me of another joke, I'll write in from memories :P
the bear and the rabbit got the golden fish and they received 3 wishes each.
The bear: i want all the bears in this forest to be females.
fish: done.
the rabbit: give me a helmet.
fish: done.
The bear: I want all the bears in the near forests to be females.
done...
rabbit: give me a motorcycle. done...
bear: I want all the bears in the world to be females. done...
and the rabbit, while preparing to go away with the motorcycle, says: make the bear gay :)))
(edited)
__________________KIDS__________________
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
_______________________ _ _____ _ ______________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_______ ___ ______ ______________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
_______________________ _ _____ _ ______________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_______ ___ ______ ______________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Obama: We got Bin Laden!
Now is Donald Trump asking for his long form death certificate..
Now is Donald Trump asking for his long form death certificate..
I can't wait to see how the Republicans try to turn this against Obama.
☑ Saddam Hussein
☑ Osama Bin Laden
☐ Justin Bieber
2 down , 1 to go !
☑ Osama Bin Laden
☐ Justin Bieber
2 down , 1 to go !
You've forgotten about
Guys who talk about Bieber all the time
It's still 2 to go
Guys who talk about Bieber all the time
It's still 2 to go
aaah, come on, if you were justin beiber you would feckin love your life.
Hell yeah :p
Loved by the girls, hated by their boyfriends :p
Loved by the girls, hated by their boyfriends :p
I wouldn't even know who Justin Bieber is if there weren't so many people expressing hate or jokes about him online. I never saw him sing or even talk, never met or even heard about any of his fans. So, in my opinion it would make more sense to put Justin Bieber's antifans on that list. :)
☑ Saddam Hussein
☑ Osama Bin Laden
they dead.and im happy.
but im sad for hiroshima ...we will never forget ...
☑ Osama Bin Laden
they dead.and im happy.
but im sad for hiroshima ...we will never forget ...