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Subject: Jokes
upper Egyptian booking a ticket in air way
guy there asking him..."home and away"
he replied "no a knouckout game"
Great! :P
guy there asking him..."home and away"
he replied "no a knouckout game"
Great! :P
a headmaster to a teacher
"y did u kick the student out of the biology exam"
teacher "he was cheating"
headmaster " how is that!!"
teacher "he was counting his rips"
"y did u kick the student out of the biology exam"
teacher "he was cheating"
headmaster " how is that!!"
teacher "he was counting his rips"
how do u but a geraffe in a refregrator on 4 steps...open the refregerator...get the geraffe out of the jungle...put it in the close it
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a general telling his soldiers
"the enemy is in front of us..behind us...on the right ...on the left..........................they cant run away this time"
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how do u put an elephent in refregerator on 5 steps...open the refregerator...take out the geraffe..get the elephant from jungle..put it in and close the refregrator
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a guy standing on a bridge and keep saying "53 53 53 53"
someone passing by asked..."wt is the matter with 53"
the guy said "look down there"
then pushed the guy of the bridge
"54 54 54 54"
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two upper egyptians
first "didnt vitnam beat america in war"
second "yup"
first "and didnt we beat israel"
second "yup"
first "so we should play final with vitnam!!"
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lion king made a jungle meeting with all animals to find out y animals disapper...all where there but one..who!!
the elephant cuz its in the refregeratour
_______________________________
a general telling his soldiers
"the enemy is in front of us..behind us...on the right ...on the left..........................they cant run away this time"
________________________________
how do u put an elephent in refregerator on 5 steps...open the refregerator...take out the geraffe..get the elephant from jungle..put it in and close the refregrator
__________________________
a guy standing on a bridge and keep saying "53 53 53 53"
someone passing by asked..."wt is the matter with 53"
the guy said "look down there"
then pushed the guy of the bridge
"54 54 54 54"
_________________________________
two upper egyptians
first "didnt vitnam beat america in war"
second "yup"
first "and didnt we beat israel"
second "yup"
first "so we should play final with vitnam!!"
_________________________________
lion king made a jungle meeting with all animals to find out y animals disapper...all where there but one..who!!
the elephant cuz its in the refregeratour
a woman trying to get rid of her cat but couldnt...then said to her little boy...
"go and get rid of that cat"
the boy was very late then he was back
"mom i got lost"
mom "and how did u come back"
son "i followed the cat"
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a guy with invited his friend for lunch
saying to his wife
"honey..plz can u get us some water"
"sweetheart..can we have some salt"
the friend wondered "thats wierd..u have been married for 12 years and u still in love with her and call her sweetheart"
the guy said " dude...i forgot her name"
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an upper egyptian fishing...but ran out of worms so he attached a paper writtne on it "worm"...after a while he got a paper with "fish"
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a guy bought a dish "for sattlite" fixed it on roof so he didnt want it to get stolen so he told everyone that he bought a really bad dog and put it on roof
to curious guys wanted to have a look
so one said "ok i will go" after a while the first came back running very frightend ,
second guy said "did u see it"
first " no ...i have seen its food dish!!!"
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u wanna pass a lake in the jungle...how could u with no boat and u wanna avoid the crocodiles
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so wt...all the animals are in the lion king meeting!! XD
"go and get rid of that cat"
the boy was very late then he was back
"mom i got lost"
mom "and how did u come back"
son "i followed the cat"
______________________________
a guy with invited his friend for lunch
saying to his wife
"honey..plz can u get us some water"
"sweetheart..can we have some salt"
the friend wondered "thats wierd..u have been married for 12 years and u still in love with her and call her sweetheart"
the guy said " dude...i forgot her name"
________________________________
an upper egyptian fishing...but ran out of worms so he attached a paper writtne on it "worm"...after a while he got a paper with "fish"
______________________________
a guy bought a dish "for sattlite" fixed it on roof so he didnt want it to get stolen so he told everyone that he bought a really bad dog and put it on roof
to curious guys wanted to have a look
so one said "ok i will go" after a while the first came back running very frightend ,
second guy said "did u see it"
first " no ...i have seen its food dish!!!"
_______________________________
u wanna pass a lake in the jungle...how could u with no boat and u wanna avoid the crocodiles
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
so wt...all the animals are in the lion king meeting!! XD
a feminist meeting with women from every where...the dicided ENOUGH!! men have to help in home ...cooking...iron etc
american wife said "i talked to my husband...first day and didnt see any progressiong,second day didnt see any progression...third day he started to help!"
french wife "i talked to my husband...first day and didnt see any progressiong,second day didnt see any progression...third day he started to help!"
Egyptian wife "to my husband...first day and didnt see any progressiong,second day didnt see any progression...third day i started to see with my right eye"
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a human-eater family-wtever they r called- the dad mommy and son...dad and son went for hunting...son saw a skinny guy said "dad dad!! we catch him then eat him"
dad "no idiot...he is so skinny"
after a while a very fat guy passed
son "dad dad!! we catch him then eat him"
dad "no idiot...to much fats are to bad for health"
then a girl showed up
son "dad dad!! we catch her then eat her"
dad "no idiot...we catch her and eat ur mom"
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a woman went for a vacation and left her cat with her firend
she phoned her later
"how is my cat!"
friend "its dead"
woman "ohh!!...couldnt u say it on steps...like the cat was playing with the ball...the cat ran after the ball...the cat crossed the road...the cat got hit by a car...the cat died!!......ok nvm..how is my family?"
friend "ur mom was playing with the ball"
american wife said "i talked to my husband...first day and didnt see any progressiong,second day didnt see any progression...third day he started to help!"
french wife "i talked to my husband...first day and didnt see any progressiong,second day didnt see any progression...third day he started to help!"
Egyptian wife "to my husband...first day and didnt see any progressiong,second day didnt see any progression...third day i started to see with my right eye"
_____________________________
a human-eater family-wtever they r called- the dad mommy and son...dad and son went for hunting...son saw a skinny guy said "dad dad!! we catch him then eat him"
dad "no idiot...he is so skinny"
after a while a very fat guy passed
son "dad dad!! we catch him then eat him"
dad "no idiot...to much fats are to bad for health"
then a girl showed up
son "dad dad!! we catch her then eat her"
dad "no idiot...we catch her and eat ur mom"
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a woman went for a vacation and left her cat with her firend
she phoned her later
"how is my cat!"
friend "its dead"
woman "ohh!!...couldnt u say it on steps...like the cat was playing with the ball...the cat ran after the ball...the cat crossed the road...the cat got hit by a car...the cat died!!......ok nvm..how is my family?"
friend "ur mom was playing with the ball"
sir: John, do you call me a taxi ??
john: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA :-P
john: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA :-P
here is a REAL one..but i will have to say some tips first so please dont discuss it so we dont end with political thread then pand :P
in egypt we had that law in which we dont need presidental elections....if current president got an approval from parlimant then get a yes/no elections if yes he goes on...if no we start a real elections
now in 2005 we canceled this law and went for elections direct
on day on a kids show where susan mubarak read some books for kids 5-7years she said
"now everyone have the right to join the elections"
one of the kids "oohh elections!! everyone!!"
and she said "yes! everyone...so when u grow up..u can run the elections head to head with daddy mubarak"
OMG XD
in egypt we had that law in which we dont need presidental elections....if current president got an approval from parlimant then get a yes/no elections if yes he goes on...if no we start a real elections
now in 2005 we canceled this law and went for elections direct
on day on a kids show where susan mubarak read some books for kids 5-7years she said
"now everyone have the right to join the elections"
one of the kids "oohh elections!! everyone!!"
and she said "yes! everyone...so when u grow up..u can run the elections head to head with daddy mubarak"
OMG XD
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"
Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"
"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog"
Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"
"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog"
