Subpage under development, new version coming soon!
Subject: Jokes
:p..
i really couldnt said it different, cause i dont now the more polite synonims of those words :p sorry
(edited)
i really couldnt said it different, cause i dont now the more polite synonims of those words :p sorry
(edited)
Here is one joke, maybe it's been here, I
don't know.
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
don't know.
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
Do you know how a french man commit suicide ?
He shoot himself over his head in his superiority complex !!
:)
He shoot himself over his head in his superiority complex !!
:)
What tells one Madrid fan's to another after winning the Champions League?
- Turn off the playstation!
- Turn off the playstation!
Latest breaking news:
The President of China gave President Bush a traditional Chinese gift, a pirated bootleg copy of "Mission Impossible 3", two weeks before it comes out.
Al Gore coming out with a movie about global warming called an "Inconvenient Truth". It's described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming. "Ice Age 2; The Meltdown". He said, "It's so much better than that boring Al Gore movie."
The President of China gave President Bush a traditional Chinese gift, a pirated bootleg copy of "Mission Impossible 3", two weeks before it comes out.
Al Gore coming out with a movie about global warming called an "Inconvenient Truth". It's described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming. "Ice Age 2; The Meltdown". He said, "It's so much better than that boring Al Gore movie."
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks,
"Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
*************************
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You goddamned tightwad!" blurted the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout.
The Judge thunders back "If you don''t tell me the reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"
"I''ve lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"
"Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
*************************
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You goddamned tightwad!" blurted the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout.
The Judge thunders back "If you don''t tell me the reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"
"I''ve lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"
One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age."
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants," she says.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old."
"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"
"You told me yesterday."
(edited)
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants," she says.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old."
"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"
"You told me yesterday."
(edited)
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
