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Subject: Jokes
I got some with stupid laws from around the world, but i dunno exactly where have i put them. :)
I dont think, that it is funny, it's pretty sad actually.
Three guys are sitting in a pub and complaing:
- You know guys, my life sucks and moreover my wife is cheating on me with this baker!
- baker??? How do you know?? How did You notice that??
- normally, i came back home one day and went upstairs to the bedroom, and there was flour under the bed!!! It must be the baker!!!!
- Thats nothing!! - says the second guy. - My wife is screwing with woodcutter!!!
- Woodcutter??? come on???!! How do You know???
- I came back home one day and there was an axe and some wood pieces in my bedroom, it must be him!!
The third guy shouts:
_ Guys, this is nothing!!! My wife is cheating on me with a horse!!!!!
- Horse?? Are you kidding us, man???
-No, I came home one day, went upstairs to the bedroom, took a look under the bed, and guess what!!! There was a JOCKEY there!!!!!!!
- You know guys, my life sucks and moreover my wife is cheating on me with this baker!
- baker??? How do you know?? How did You notice that??
- normally, i came back home one day and went upstairs to the bedroom, and there was flour under the bed!!! It must be the baker!!!!
- Thats nothing!! - says the second guy. - My wife is screwing with woodcutter!!!
- Woodcutter??? come on???!! How do You know???
- I came back home one day and there was an axe and some wood pieces in my bedroom, it must be him!!
The third guy shouts:
_ Guys, this is nothing!!! My wife is cheating on me with a horse!!!!!
- Horse?? Are you kidding us, man???
-No, I came home one day, went upstairs to the bedroom, took a look under the bed, and guess what!!! There was a JOCKEY there!!!!!!!
Some couple lies in the bed after having sex.
- Do You love me honey?? -the girl asks
- ofcourse I love my dear, more than the stars.
- Will You marry me honey???
- well, i'll call You tomorrow or the other day, allright???
(edited)
- Do You love me honey?? -the girl asks
- ofcourse I love my dear, more than the stars.
- Will You marry me honey???
- well, i'll call You tomorrow or the other day, allright???
(edited)
A man go to the city hall.He wanted to change his name.
-Hallo,mr Mayor!
-Hallo!
-I want to change my name...I don't like it.
-But what is your name now?
-Idiot Vasile.
-What an ugly name...and what name do you want?
-Idiot Ion.
-Hallo,mr Mayor!
-Hallo!
-I want to change my name...I don't like it.
-But what is your name now?
-Idiot Vasile.
-What an ugly name...and what name do you want?
-Idiot Ion.
A guy from Montenegro walks through the town and he got to pie.So he took his winnie out and start pieing in the centre of the city.Girl walks nearby and screams: "Aaah what are you doing?" and the guy says: "Don't worry girl I'm holding it tight."
An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too." The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "I I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too." The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "I I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking." :)
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"