Azərbaycan dili Bahasa Indonesia Bosanski Català Čeština Dansk Deutsch Eesti English Español Français Galego Hrvatski Italiano Latviešu Lietuvių Magyar Malti Mакедонски Nederlands Norsk Polski Português Português BR Românã Slovenčina Srpski Suomi Svenska Tiếng Việt Türkçe Ελληνικά Български Русский Українська Հայերեն ქართული ენა 中文
Subpage under development, new version coming soon!

Subject: Jokes

2006-06-23 14:03:21
Player is Croat from Australia playing for Croatia NT against Australia
2006-06-24 05:45:47
OK I dont know if the following classifies as a joke, but if u dont know the next mindgame yet, you should probably read this through in order not to get laughed at .

This mindgame consist of asking the other person to say what color is the thing that you will point at. You point to all white things.
Dialoge would be something like this:
Question: "What color?" (pointing to white shoes for example)
Answer:White
Q: "This?"
A:"White!"
Q: "This?"
A:"White!"
Q: "This?"
A:"White!"
Q: "This?"
A:"White!"
Q: "This?"
A:"White!"
Q: "This?"
A:"White!!!"
Q:" What do cows drink?"
A:"MILK!"
Works 9 out of 10 times if you maintain good pace to questions and answers. And the fun part is to see their faces when they understand their mistake.
Works as a great icebreaker in parties too. Done this to multiple(max 3) females at once who all answered milk , whooh that was fun. I got to say " Oh womens"(my favorite sentence).
At one time in bandcamp (kidding about the one time part). This worked out pretty good icebreaker
I did the milk mindgame.
She asked me how much is one pluss one times two=I anwered 4( she laughed). One thing lead to another and....
Oh yea that night ended well.
(edited)
2006-06-24 13:51:46
She asked me how much is one pluss one times two=I anwered 3( she laughed).

Sorry ... but, mathematically, 3 is correct ... multiplication takes preference over addition, UNLESS otherwise specified.

(My BS and MA in Math showing?)
2006-06-24 14:44:12
Right, dont know what i was thinking.
2006-06-24 16:27:16
this is confusing:] were there really three yellow cards? I saw that, but I thought that it was a mistake from the TV operators. he really got three yellow cards?:D
2006-06-24 16:27:58
Yes
2006-06-24 16:53:48
Yes he did, what a Joker he is. :)

Give me some good jokes please :)
2006-06-24 18:56:10
Ok, here comes one. Everton are playing the redshite Liverpool on Analfield in a derby. Everton players are sitting in the locker room, the match is about to begin and Tim Cahill stands up and says:
- You know, guys? I understand that you are sick of playing the redshite, so just go to the pub and I will play them alone.
So all the Eveton players are going to the pub and Tim Cahill stays to play alone against Liverpool. All the players are sitting in the pub and drinking beer. Someone remembers that Tim is playing against Liverpool and asks to turn the TV on. So the barmen turns on the tv and the scoreline says: EVERTON - LIVERPOOL 1:0 '10 Tim Cahill. They start cheering, turn off the TV and continue drinking and turn on the tv only when the game is about to end. Scoreline says: EVERTON - LIVERPOOL 1:1 '10 Tim Cahill, '89 Peter Crouch. Players run to the God forsaken Analfield and find Tim Cahill sitting low and depressed in the locker room.
- Great match, Tim! You managed to draw with Liverpool by yourself!
- No, guys, I let you down....
- No way, Tim, draw ain't so bad.... You even scored! How did you manage to defend against them for almost 80 minutes?
- I DIDN'T, I GOT INJURED ON 11 MINUTE!!!!!
2006-06-24 19:03:02
Team has to have at least 8 players to be allowed to play.. (i am an Liverpool fan :-P)
2006-06-24 19:14:43
the problem was that when simunic got the second yellow card,graham pool put number 3 in his book,but in the right of australia,so actually when simunic got the second one,graham pool put craig moore on his list...
2006-06-25 02:07:48
Neil Warnock (manager of Sheffield Utd, for all you who don't follow english lower league football) goes into a building society to get some money out to buy a new striker.
Whilst in the building society, some robber srun in and smack him over the head. He collapses, unconscious.

As he's coming round, he says "oh man, where am I?"
The clerk says "Don't worry, Mr Warnock, you are in the Nationwide."

Warnock replies, "Ah shit, is it May already??"
2006-06-25 08:39:57
I think people outsite Great Britain will not get this. Like me.
I dont really know what is Nationwide and then what is happening there in May....
2006-06-25 08:46:12
Message deleted

2006-06-25 09:35:44
if you don't get brittish humour, then it's your problem. brittish people have one of the most subtle senses of humour in the whole Europe. if you don't believe me - try watching Monty Python's.
2006-06-25 09:41:16
Monty Python Holy Grail was the worst movie i've ever seen.
2006-06-25 09:44:50
lol :D