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Subject: Jokes
well if we're talking about heavenly jokes...
there's a bus full of nuns going from one church to another. the nuns are praying, having good time while kissing crosses & stuff, but suddenly the bus crashes and four nuns die. those four nuns during their life were best friends, always going to church together, living in one cell, knowing everything about each other... well, you get the point. so here they are standing right next to the gate of heaven and St.Peter says:
- Oh, sisters. we've been waiting for you here. you've been going to church every day, praying every night, living life that was absolutely dedicated to God... we're sure happy to have you here, but. I have one question for all of you. what about your relationship with men on earth?
the first one says:
- well I... actually... I've touched balls once.
- Nevermind, sister, just wash those three fingers in this bucket of holy water and come in.
she washes her fingers and stands in heaven, waiting for the rest.
- and what about you, sister? - St.Peter asks the second one.
- well... I'm pretty ashamed about this, but... I jacked it off to one guy once.
- nevermind, sister! just wash your hands in this bucket and go right through that gate.
she washes her hand, stands besides the first nun and starts waiting for the other two, but suddenly the one who's standing in the back shouts:
- No way, girls, if she's going to wash her beaver in that bucket, I ain't going to drink from it!
there's a bus full of nuns going from one church to another. the nuns are praying, having good time while kissing crosses & stuff, but suddenly the bus crashes and four nuns die. those four nuns during their life were best friends, always going to church together, living in one cell, knowing everything about each other... well, you get the point. so here they are standing right next to the gate of heaven and St.Peter says:
- Oh, sisters. we've been waiting for you here. you've been going to church every day, praying every night, living life that was absolutely dedicated to God... we're sure happy to have you here, but. I have one question for all of you. what about your relationship with men on earth?
the first one says:
- well I... actually... I've touched balls once.
- Nevermind, sister, just wash those three fingers in this bucket of holy water and come in.
she washes her fingers and stands in heaven, waiting for the rest.
- and what about you, sister? - St.Peter asks the second one.
- well... I'm pretty ashamed about this, but... I jacked it off to one guy once.
- nevermind, sister! just wash your hands in this bucket and go right through that gate.
she washes her hand, stands besides the first nun and starts waiting for the other two, but suddenly the one who's standing in the back shouts:
- No way, girls, if she's going to wash her beaver in that bucket, I ain't going to drink from it!
how many blond jokes there is???
none, they are all TRUE
none, they are all TRUE
Two Germans went into the bar in England and one of them wants to practice his english. He orders:"Two Martini please"
The bartender asks:"Dry?"
"Nein, nur zwei bitte."
The bartender asks:"Dry?"
"Nein, nur zwei bitte."
Little Johnny comes up to his naked mother in the beach and pointing her groin asks:
- Mommy, what's this hole?
- Oh... You see... Aaaa.... Your father choped wood and the axe slipped and hit me.
- Damned bastard - he hit you straight on your pussy.
- Mommy, what's this hole?
- Oh... You see... Aaaa.... Your father choped wood and the axe slipped and hit me.
- Damned bastard - he hit you straight on your pussy.
