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Subject: Jokes
Q: What`s the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
the Fucking family go to a trip
they visit a hotel, and they want to sign on the reception:
Mr.F - Hi there! I am Fucking with mi wife, my daughter and my son!
R - ???
Mr.f - And this is my son, also Fucking with his wife and kids
R - Look, I dont care who fucks who, I´ll just sign you as a big fucked-up family...
they visit a hotel, and they want to sign on the reception:
Mr.F - Hi there! I am Fucking with mi wife, my daughter and my son!
R - ???
Mr.f - And this is my son, also Fucking with his wife and kids
R - Look, I dont care who fucks who, I´ll just sign you as a big fucked-up family...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
waiting your answers
waiting your answers
Meanwhile when you are thinking the answer for my question asked in previous post. Read this.
:)
Woppa`s Job Application
This is an actual job application that a 31 year old man submitted to McDonald's in Lancashire... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: W. Oppa
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
(edited)
:)
Woppa`s Job Application
This is an actual job application that a 31 year old man submitted to McDonald's in Lancashire... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: W. Oppa
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
(edited)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams
--Robin Williams
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams
Why did the chicken cross the road?
probably to get away from you[:D]
probably to get away from you[:D]
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side =p
To get to the other side =p
Ladies and gentlemen we have a loser... its me :(
( well that was a joke :O)
( well that was a joke :O)
