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Subject: Jokes
Maybe you heard this one, but here goes..
A baby camel asks its mother: Mommy, why do we have our "hoofs" shaped like this? and mother answers: So we dont sink into sand, my dear...
Some time later: Mommy, why do we have such big humps on our back? and mother says: So we can store fat in them to sustain us during long periods without water, my love...
Again some time later: Mommy, why are our eyelashes so long and thick? and mother says: So that the desert storms dont harm our eyes, precious...
few hours later: Mommy, then what the **** are we doing in a ZOO?!
(edited)
A baby camel asks its mother: Mommy, why do we have our "hoofs" shaped like this? and mother answers: So we dont sink into sand, my dear...
Some time later: Mommy, why do we have such big humps on our back? and mother says: So we can store fat in them to sustain us during long periods without water, my love...
Again some time later: Mommy, why are our eyelashes so long and thick? and mother says: So that the desert storms dont harm our eyes, precious...
few hours later: Mommy, then what the **** are we doing in a ZOO?!
(edited)
2 nigers peain from the bridge and one of tham seid oh how cold is this wather,other seid jes,its verry deep too.
I'm more used to salting the roads when its icy like they do in Britain, but it causes horrid rust =D
We use salt too. That's why I didn't understand the joke.
Both salt and sand have the propriety to melt the ice, so many use sand combined with salt to get the desired effect...:)
i would think the sand works because of the salt content of it, plus the added grip it would give from it being sand.
NECROPHILLIA
An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the
beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple
making love in a field.
Getting over his initial shock he said to himself,
"Ah, young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!" and
continued to watch, remembering good times. Suddenly he drew in a gasp
and said, "Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman - she is dead!" and he hurried
along as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief.
He came, out of breath, to the police station and shouted, "Jean... Jean zere is
zis man, zis woman ... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love."
The police chief smiled and said; "Come, come, Henri you are not so old;
remember ze young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers? Ah, L'amour!
Zis is okay." "Mais non! You do not understand; ze woman, she is dead!"
Hearing this, Jean leapt up from his seat, rushed out of the station,
jumped on his bike, pedalled down to the field, confirmed Henri's story, and
pedalled all the way back non-stop to call the doctor: "Pierre, Pierre, ...
this is Jean, I was in Gaston's field; zere is a young couple naked 'aving
sex " To which Pierre replied,"Jean, I am a man of science. You must remember,
it is spring, ze air, ze flowers, Ah, L'amour! Zis is very natural." Jean, still
out of breath, grasped in reply, "NON, you do not understand; ze woman, she is
dead!"
Hearing this, Pierre exclaimed, "Mon dieu!" grabbed his black medicine
bag; stuffed in his thermometer, stethoscope, and other tools; jumped in the
car; and drove like a madman down to Gaston's field. After carefully
examining the participants he drove calmly back to Henri and Jean, who
were waiting at the station. He got there, went inside, smiled patiently,
and said,
"Ah, mes amis, do not worry. Ze woman, she is not dead; she is British."
;-)
An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the
beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple
making love in a field.
Getting over his initial shock he said to himself,
"Ah, young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!" and
continued to watch, remembering good times. Suddenly he drew in a gasp
and said, "Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman - she is dead!" and he hurried
along as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief.
He came, out of breath, to the police station and shouted, "Jean... Jean zere is
zis man, zis woman ... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love."
The police chief smiled and said; "Come, come, Henri you are not so old;
remember ze young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers? Ah, L'amour!
Zis is okay." "Mais non! You do not understand; ze woman, she is dead!"
Hearing this, Jean leapt up from his seat, rushed out of the station,
jumped on his bike, pedalled down to the field, confirmed Henri's story, and
pedalled all the way back non-stop to call the doctor: "Pierre, Pierre, ...
this is Jean, I was in Gaston's field; zere is a young couple naked 'aving
sex " To which Pierre replied,"Jean, I am a man of science. You must remember,
it is spring, ze air, ze flowers, Ah, L'amour! Zis is very natural." Jean, still
out of breath, grasped in reply, "NON, you do not understand; ze woman, she is
dead!"
Hearing this, Pierre exclaimed, "Mon dieu!" grabbed his black medicine
bag; stuffed in his thermometer, stethoscope, and other tools; jumped in the
car; and drove like a madman down to Gaston's field. After carefully
examining the participants he drove calmly back to Henri and Jean, who
were waiting at the station. He got there, went inside, smiled patiently,
and said,
"Ah, mes amis, do not worry. Ze woman, she is not dead; she is British."
;-)
would change it to the british countryside, as they dont speak english on the french countryside:p
> A girl walks into a supermarket and buys
>
> 1 bar of soap
> 1 toothbrush
> 1 tube of toothpaste
> 1 loaf of bread
> 1 gallon of milk
> 1 single serving of cereal
> 1 single frozen dinner
>
> The checkout guy looks at her and says, "Single, huh?"
>
> The girl sarcastically replies, "How'd you guess?"
>
> He says, "Because you are fncking ugly."
>
:D
(edited)
>
> 1 bar of soap
> 1 toothbrush
> 1 tube of toothpaste
> 1 loaf of bread
> 1 gallon of milk
> 1 single serving of cereal
> 1 single frozen dinner
>
> The checkout guy looks at her and says, "Single, huh?"
>
> The girl sarcastically replies, "How'd you guess?"
>
> He says, "Because you are fncking ugly."
>
:D
(edited)