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Subject: Jokes
:) Just try and I'll show you what harm they can do!
Maybe not for us, but I think that they might offend the people, even if they are only jokes, so no, thats why I didnt post them ;)
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Maybe there's too much "political correctness" in the world and a lot of people don't have sense of humour. Those who feel are open minded can visit sickipedia.org for sick jokes. The others can stay away.
based on the title, the fact that there were only 806 replies and this post being 7/8 of the way down the 80th page, i should have known not to bother clicking this
but then i did
what followed was a buffet of emotions so complex and varying that it would have made a woman 8.5 months pregnant with octuplets seem sane.
first came confusion at the incomprehensible fountain of gibberish you were gushing, which quickly gave way to frustration that i bothered to try to decipher it
then came remorse. remorse that i had wasted 30 seconds of my life, 30 seconds that thanks to you, coloumbe, i will never get back again. in those 30 seconds i could have done all sorts of things: read a paragraph from my 6 year old chemistry book, eaten a bite of pizza, or dialed the phone number of my father, trying to re-connect with a parent who had abandoned me all those years ago.
my father was, by all measures, a despicable man. after having his 9th child through 10 women, he decided to forge west to america, believing his uncanny fertility to be his rite to a modern-day manifest destiny. it was while serving a jail sentence for public nudity that he met a coked out burlesque dancer who would become my mother. as he says, they had 52 seconds of mundane, passionless intercourse that resulted in my conception. as it turns out, my father, the "player from the orient," could do no better than a drugged out 64 year old. his manifest destiny had failed him.
it was then that he tried to commit suicide by coating himself with honey and sitting bareass in a picnic basket in yellowstone national park. a bear finally came to devour him and he reached an epiphany that perhaps he was more than just a sperm bank, that he could in fact be a father to the sperm who made it into the eggs.
he returned the night of my 4th birthday, bathed in the scent of whiskey, sweat and shame, and vowed to be a better father to me.
he left the next morning.
years of tracking would lead me to a number based in witchita, kansas where it is presumed my distant father lives. i never had the courage to call until about 5 minutes ago which brings me back to my point. i could have gained the courage in the 30 seconds it took me to read your post, but instead, i have nothing. i have no father, no courage, no pride, and now, no more time
now all i feel is rage. my rage almost certainly is far more pressing and overwhelming then the rage you may have felt when your 55 inexplicably lost to AK suited for the 2nd consecutive time in .01/.02 NL, leading to your assumption that online poker is rigged. for while you may have lost $4, i have lost a father.
sleep well knowing that you are directly responsible for my lack of direction and guidance in my life and that i may very well fall into a path of drugs, loneliness, and almost certain demise simply because i read this OP
there is a special place in hell for people like you
but then i did
what followed was a buffet of emotions so complex and varying that it would have made a woman 8.5 months pregnant with octuplets seem sane.
first came confusion at the incomprehensible fountain of gibberish you were gushing, which quickly gave way to frustration that i bothered to try to decipher it
then came remorse. remorse that i had wasted 30 seconds of my life, 30 seconds that thanks to you, coloumbe, i will never get back again. in those 30 seconds i could have done all sorts of things: read a paragraph from my 6 year old chemistry book, eaten a bite of pizza, or dialed the phone number of my father, trying to re-connect with a parent who had abandoned me all those years ago.
my father was, by all measures, a despicable man. after having his 9th child through 10 women, he decided to forge west to america, believing his uncanny fertility to be his rite to a modern-day manifest destiny. it was while serving a jail sentence for public nudity that he met a coked out burlesque dancer who would become my mother. as he says, they had 52 seconds of mundane, passionless intercourse that resulted in my conception. as it turns out, my father, the "player from the orient," could do no better than a drugged out 64 year old. his manifest destiny had failed him.
it was then that he tried to commit suicide by coating himself with honey and sitting bareass in a picnic basket in yellowstone national park. a bear finally came to devour him and he reached an epiphany that perhaps he was more than just a sperm bank, that he could in fact be a father to the sperm who made it into the eggs.
he returned the night of my 4th birthday, bathed in the scent of whiskey, sweat and shame, and vowed to be a better father to me.
he left the next morning.
years of tracking would lead me to a number based in witchita, kansas where it is presumed my distant father lives. i never had the courage to call until about 5 minutes ago which brings me back to my point. i could have gained the courage in the 30 seconds it took me to read your post, but instead, i have nothing. i have no father, no courage, no pride, and now, no more time
now all i feel is rage. my rage almost certainly is far more pressing and overwhelming then the rage you may have felt when your 55 inexplicably lost to AK suited for the 2nd consecutive time in .01/.02 NL, leading to your assumption that online poker is rigged. for while you may have lost $4, i have lost a father.
sleep well knowing that you are directly responsible for my lack of direction and guidance in my life and that i may very well fall into a path of drugs, loneliness, and almost certain demise simply because i read this OP
there is a special place in hell for people like you
we don't have to be serious in the Jokes topic
Yes, people are allowed to laugh with my believe, governement, past of my country, even with my famili or myself. If I know it isn't ment to hurt.
Furthermore it helps to relativate things =)
I don't even mind a joke about 9/11 or the 10 belgians that were killed in Rwanda and our national blame, I can even laugh with a good joke about the economical crisis
Furthermore it helps to relativate things =)
I don't even mind a joke about 9/11 or the 10 belgians that were killed in Rwanda and our national blame, I can even laugh with a good joke about the economical crisis
got a few jokes here i prepared (stole earlier...
what do you call a penguin in a desert?
lost
what do you call a japaniese man in a car?
inamota
what do you call a penguin in a desert?
lost
what do you call a japaniese man in a car?
inamota
