Subject: Jokes

That looks like Ewan McGreggor or however you spell his name

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of
the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this
country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm
just tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
(edited)

nice one
worth to remember

There comes an old lady to a greengrocers and says:
- I'd like a cucumber, a tomato abd an onion
-Sorry, we're out of onions.
Old lady pays and goes out. Returnes after a minute
-Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to but an onion
-But we are out of onions I've told you
-Really, sorry then..
And she goes out, but returnes after a second
- You know what? I forgo to buy an onion
-How many times do I have to tell you WE HAVE NO ONIONS LEFT!!
-Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot
And goes out, returnes in a sec.
-I'm sorry young man I forgot to buy an onion
-Madam, what will stay if you take away to from tomato?
-...mato.
-Good. And what will stay if you take away cu from cucumber
-...cumber.
-Very good. And what will stay if you take away fuck from onion?
-..There's no fuck in onion
-THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU!!!

hehe

xD

A skydiver hears from a friend that if his parachute dosent come out to shout 'allah help me!'

so the next day he jumps out of a plane but his parachute dosent come out, he shouts 'allah help me!

a hand comes out of the sky and takes him to the ground safely

the skydiver said 'Thank god for that!'
at that moment a huge foot comes from the sky and crushes him

The jokes are not insensitive man... Like if jokes about 9/11 are not allowed (that was a rude terrorist attack, right) and so on. Everybody suffers. Everybody jokes.
Live with it.

Of course they can be insensitive, rude etc.

Don't do to your neighbour what you would not want him to do to yourself.
Ever heard of that?

Bwoah, you are allowed to be sensitive if you have reason to it.


eg: each example I give here won't fall into good earth So I won't give one but you can imagine it
(edited)

You should grow up first before reacting and a. stop insulting poeple, b. showing everyone how ignorant you are and c. talking so much BS that I would be ashamed if I were you.

Jews, and I too, have absolutely no problem with religious jokes. I don't find them offensive and the same goes for most people of that faith. Feel free to tell jokes about Jews, as well as on any other religion you fancy.

The problem with the previous jokes were that they touched two issues that ARE taboo! One, Judaism is NOT a race, but only a religion. Calling people race based on their religion is plain stupid. Hating people based on their race, even if only a perceived race, is not allowed anywhere in the world, mostly illegal and also historically gave rise to nazism. The second issue which is taboo for jokes is the holocaust and it is totally beyond what you think on this matter and whether you like it or not.

The last point, regards you being uneducated enought to mix the current day political problems into this. Your argument is so pathetic that I would completely ignore it. I suggest you go back to school and get some education or at least some manners.

Do you even know why there is a war now?
don't talk if you dont know

open this sensationalist rubbish in anouther topic, ronny it dosent belong here
(edited)

just dont open it anywhere, only quarrelling as a result of it

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup , the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He told her, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress . If you don't do the following , your husband will surely die...Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant , and make sure he is in a good mood . For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores , as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse . And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim . If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?" She replied, "You're going to die"!

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, `Oh, we haven`t got any condoms. I`ll ring down to room service.` He calls and asks for some condoms.

The woman says, `OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?`

`No,` he says, `I`ll suffocate!`