Subject: Jokes

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, `Oh, we haven`t got any condoms. I`ll ring down to room service.` He calls and asks for some condoms.

The woman says, `OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?`

`No,` he says, `I`ll suffocate!`

Hamas and the people in Gaza are shooting us for 8 years. In your TV channels you may saw an arabic kid crying.. they ever said what happens in sderot? there are 8 years old kids that can't imagine any other reality but what happens there right now.. they can't listen to music or go out with friends because the don't know when the alarm will come and they will have 15 seconds to run into a safe zone.. the Hamas shoot us every day and hour for the last 8 years and killing innocent people who living there because they have no other choice. We killed them only guilty people who shot us, shot from there home and etc.
The TV channels around the world don't showing it. Why? I don't know. Because whe jews? maybe. But don't believe anything you see and learn some about the subject before you talking.
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langhe it not meant for you it for all who said we attacked Gaza with no reason
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war is always ugly ... on both side ...

however, i don't think that it should be actually the right topic to speak about this

Right, Can we get some jokes people =]

yeah why was that in the joke section?

both sides wont agree a ceasefire. dont ask me why. is there people from both sides who can explain why actually?
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i wanted to post some joke but the stories about hamas and jewes just cut my apetite for laughing...i was wondering what are you people really fighting for?sorry to be off topic but the things like war are really disturbing

A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."

So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"

God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."

The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"

God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."

The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"

God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"

and one about soldiers at war

...

The soldiers had been in the field for two weeks and hadn't had
showers or been able to change their clothes.

Then one day the general came along and said, "Men, I have some
good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?"

All the men shouted, "Tell us the good news, tell us the good news."

The general smiled and said, "Men, the good news is that today we're
going to change our underwear."

All the men cheered.

Then the general said, "Now the bad news. Smith, you change with Jones.
Jackson, you change with Thomson ... "

nice one!

we fighting for 2 things:
1. as i said, to make them stop sooting us missiles
2. about 3 years ago hizbala (in Lebanon) kidnapped a solider, Gilad Shalit, and there are rumors that he is in Gaza now
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hmmmmm

We killed them only guilty people who shot us, shot from there home and etc.

I am quite sad that it is not clear that both sides kill innocent people by this attacks and that this kind of attacks will never let other side to stop their attacks. But I know that it is very emotional and no side will ever stop with shooting at the other. Sad but true, I do see no short-term-solution to end this war. About the soldier: so it helps shooting Gaza if this soldier is there? Where is the sense in that?

Anyway.. offtopic and I will shutup :)

I am quite sad that it is not clear that both sides kill innocent people by this attacks and that this kind of attacks will never let other side to stop their attacks
I don't know who died in Gaza and probably some innocent people died, but we don't do it on purpose and the Israeli army isn't sooting until we know that there are a Hamas man, but we can't get all the other people out of there. they are attacking people on purpose and they don't even trying to hit the army

About the soldier: so it helps shooting Gaza if this soldier is there? Where is the sense in that?
again, we don't shoot until we know exactly who in there... and if he there and we don't know that so he probably underground or something so he won't get hurt.
of course I'm not an Israeli solider and I can't know for sure what the Israeli army know :)
Anyway.. offtopic and I will shutup :)
you right :]
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lets just hope it ends soon, but that is unlikely because war has plagued this area for thousands of years for one reason or anouther, holy wars etc..

can we move back to jokes now?

shud be a topic about that war do..

anyways. what did the dyslexic take at the rave?

An F

he got fired from his job in the french water bottling factory aswell because he kept writing NAIVE on the bottles...

He formed a new association afterwards for support

DNA - National Dyslexic Association

dont get the first 2 lines of the joke (not the ones about the war en move back to topic)

There is a well known party drug that is named with one letter - it's not "F" though, as the dyslexic thought ;-)