Subpage under development, new version coming soon!
Subject: Jokes
translated from romanian, smart joke :)
Once there was one unlucky guy, but extremely unlucky. he was so unlucky that, when he fish the golden fish, it will fulfil his wish, but only one wish. You know, unluck... Our guy said to the fish that he wants to be a prince, because this way he can have whatever he wants and can live happily ever after... The golden fish agreed and said to the guy to go home. THe guy went home, he was tired and went to sleep. In the morning, a servant woke him up "Hey, Ferdinand, wake up! You have to go to Sarajevo"
:P
Once there was one unlucky guy, but extremely unlucky. he was so unlucky that, when he fish the golden fish, it will fulfil his wish, but only one wish. You know, unluck... Our guy said to the fish that he wants to be a prince, because this way he can have whatever he wants and can live happily ever after... The golden fish agreed and said to the guy to go home. THe guy went home, he was tired and went to sleep. In the morning, a servant woke him up "Hey, Ferdinand, wake up! You have to go to Sarajevo"
:P
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
bear walks into a bar and says to the barman " id like a whisky and ......................................................................................... cola
barman , asks " why the big pause "
bear replies " dunno , always had them "
:)
barman , asks " why the big pause "
bear replies " dunno , always had them "
:)
stupit joke:
On a fridge, onte tomatoe says to his mate: "hey man, is cold here, isnt it?"
and the other screams with panic: "OMG a tomatoe speaking!!!"
On a fridge, onte tomatoe says to his mate: "hey man, is cold here, isnt it?"
and the other screams with panic: "OMG a tomatoe speaking!!!"
-I read so much about the chronic medical effects of smoking and drinking, so I decided to quit.
-Smoking or drinking?
-Reading.
-Smoking or drinking?
-Reading.
One good joke translated from finnish.
Kimi Raikkonen went to the shooting course. The owner said that you can shoot anything what moves. Well after the first day the owner asked what did you shot? Kimi answered: "Two elephants, three tigers and two notmees. The owner was a confused, but didnt ask anything.
The second day Kimi shot 4 zepras, 3 lions, 4 buffalos and 5 notmees. The owner was confused but didnt ask anything.
The final day of the course. Kimi shot three zepras, six lions, two elephants, four tigers and 5 notmees. Then the owner had to ask: "What the hell is notmee?" Well Kimi answered: "They are browncoloured, they have two legs and two arms and when they run with their legs, they put their hands behind their neck and scream NOTME NOTME!"
Kimi Raikkonen went to the shooting course. The owner said that you can shoot anything what moves. Well after the first day the owner asked what did you shot? Kimi answered: "Two elephants, three tigers and two notmees. The owner was a confused, but didnt ask anything.
The second day Kimi shot 4 zepras, 3 lions, 4 buffalos and 5 notmees. The owner was confused but didnt ask anything.
The final day of the course. Kimi shot three zepras, six lions, two elephants, four tigers and 5 notmees. Then the owner had to ask: "What the hell is notmee?" Well Kimi answered: "They are browncoloured, they have two legs and two arms and when they run with their legs, they put their hands behind their neck and scream NOTME NOTME!"
Very kind of joke :
A man gets out from the hospital and meets by hazard his friend :
- Hey, Joe, what happened to you ?
- Woww, it was incredible. Imagine, i was riding a horse and i tried to catch the ball then i felt... And suddendly a car charged at me... I could not believe i could stand up but i did at then i saw a plane flying towards me and crashed on me... But after a while, i could stand up again and in a second a saw a train arriving in front of me and sent me into the air... Finally i could stand up one more time and...
- Listen, you are my friend and i'm happy to see you but now, i do not like you lauhg at me like that... I can't believe you, You are a liar ! It is impossible to be alive after having such dramas !
- But yes, i'm alive... My accidents took part in a merry-go-round !
(edited)
A man gets out from the hospital and meets by hazard his friend :
- Hey, Joe, what happened to you ?
- Woww, it was incredible. Imagine, i was riding a horse and i tried to catch the ball then i felt... And suddendly a car charged at me... I could not believe i could stand up but i did at then i saw a plane flying towards me and crashed on me... But after a while, i could stand up again and in a second a saw a train arriving in front of me and sent me into the air... Finally i could stand up one more time and...
- Listen, you are my friend and i'm happy to see you but now, i do not like you lauhg at me like that... I can't believe you, You are a liar ! It is impossible to be alive after having such dramas !
- But yes, i'm alive... My accidents took part in a merry-go-round !
(edited)
A father comes back from working to his house and finds his new robot lie detector.
His son comes back from school with a late of 2 hours. His father is really angry and asks to his son :
- Where did you go ? You are in late you know ?
- I was with a friend at the library to study... Slap !
The robot 's just slapped the son with this sin detected.
- Ah ! You see, my new robot is able to know if you're lying or not... Then where are you ?
- We were at Jim'home watching "Nemo"... Slap !
- Wrong answer... Please stop lying and tell me the thruth now...
- Sorry dad, we were watching a porn movie... The robot stays quiet.
- What a shame ! I could not believe that ! My son ! When i was a child i never lied to my parents !... Slap !
The robot 's just slapped the father...
Then the mother says :
- Liar ! He is really your son, you know ! Slap !
The robot's just slapped the mother too...
(edited)
His son comes back from school with a late of 2 hours. His father is really angry and asks to his son :
- Where did you go ? You are in late you know ?
- I was with a friend at the library to study... Slap !
The robot 's just slapped the son with this sin detected.
- Ah ! You see, my new robot is able to know if you're lying or not... Then where are you ?
- We were at Jim'home watching "Nemo"... Slap !
- Wrong answer... Please stop lying and tell me the thruth now...
- Sorry dad, we were watching a porn movie... The robot stays quiet.
- What a shame ! I could not believe that ! My son ! When i was a child i never lied to my parents !... Slap !
The robot 's just slapped the father...
Then the mother says :
- Liar ! He is really your son, you know ! Slap !
The robot's just slapped the mother too...
(edited)