Subject: Jokes

A father comes back from working to his house and finds his new robot lie detector.
His son comes back from school with a late of 2 hours. His father is really angry and asks to his son :
- Where did you go ? You are in late you know ?
- I was with a friend at the library to study... Slap !
The robot 's just slapped the son with this sin detected.
- Ah ! You see, my new robot is able to know if you're lying or not... Then where are you ?
- We were at Jim'home watching "Nemo"... Slap !
- Wrong answer... Please stop lying and tell me the thruth now...
- Sorry dad, we were watching a porn movie... The robot stays quiet.
- What a shame ! I could not believe that ! My son ! When i was a child i never lied to my parents !... Slap !

The robot 's just slapped the father...

Then the mother says :
- Liar ! He is really your son, you know ! Slap !

The robot's just slapped the mother too...
(edited)

what do you call a chicken in a shell suit ??




an egg :)

The President of Cuba has announced that Cuba will not participate in the next Summer Olympics. He said that, "Anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."

laughed my ass off :))

Is your ass still lost or you have found it?

It´s probably huge and shouldn`t be too difficult to find.
(edited)

:))

wrestny...

you'll pay for this :P

LOL my dad has told me that joke. XD

---

When Ferrari had again a great weekend in F1, they went to a trip to a desert.
Barrichello waked up about 3 o'clock to take a cup of water. Whent he went out of his tent he saw Schumacher and a lion after him
"Schumi! A lion gets you!"
"Maybe, but at the moment I'm ahead with 3 laps!!!

I heard a very similar joke at school when I was like 11-12 years old (that's a long, long time ago) and the guy who told it was told off by a teacher because it "could be hurtful to people with a different skin colour" :|

Jokes translated from polish:

A wife to her husband:
-Tell me something sweet, please..
- Not now, I'm busy..
- But I ask you so much, darling..
- I really have no time now..
- But just one sweet word, it won't take you much time..
- Damn it! "Honey" ..and f*ck off now..

***

6 yo boy to his 4 yo boy:
- There was a condom under the radiator in our kindergarten.
- What is it the radiator?

***

A father comes with his daughter to the kindergarten. They have suddenly noticed two dogs making love. The daughter asks:
- What are they doing?
Father doesn't know what he should answer so he says:
- You know, The dog that is up has twisted his leg and the second one is helping him get back home.
- Daddy, it's exactly the same like in the life! You want to help to someone, but he uses it and f*cks your ass..


:>

hahahah the last one is fricken funny

What's the difference between a hungry African and an oversized American?

The first longs to eat, the latter eats too long

Charlie forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really upset.
"When I wake up tomorrow, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds and it better be there!" she said.

The next morning she was a little excited and after her husband left for his job she got up to inspect the drivway. In the driveway she found a little gift-wrapped box. She expected something bigger, but excited as she was (that she got anything at all) she took the box inside and hurried to open it.


In this box there was a brand new bathroom scale.

So far, Charlie has never been seen again.
(edited)

nice

anybody know any more?

An American and a Romanian discussing:

the American says proudly: - We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash!

Our gúy answers back: - We have Traian Basescu, no wonder, no hope, no cash

:D